[Good evening Tuesday] fatigue and vanilla birds

I love smelling my birds. I’m sure my birds think I’m a pervert but this gives me instant comfort… sometimes they smell like maple syrup or warm blanket, or seaweed when they’re wet (oi, this one is strong smell).


"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし) Pt.3

"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし) Pt.3

Click here to read Previous Episode (7-16) / 前回のおはなし(7~16)をよむ

DisclaimerI borrowed a name and character figure from Gargaj (and I got his permission to publish in here, thanks! :), but all characters (traits) and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons or products is purely and definitely coincidental.


17)    ガーガイが公園でひとりで遊んでいると、どこからか小さなとりが飛んできて、ガーガイに話しかけました。「ずいぶんさみしそうだね」 「そうなんだ、さみしいなんてものじゃないんだ」 「どうしたの?」


"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし) Pt.2

And it continues!! :) 

"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし) Pt.2

Click here to read Previous Episode (1-6) / 前回のおはなし(16)をよむ

Disclaimer: I borrowed a name and character figure from Gargaj (and I got his permission to publish in here, thanks! :), but all characters (traits) and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons or products is purely and definitely coincidental.


7)    「カッコイイもの」ができあがると、ガーガイは思いきってデモシーンの人たちに見せてみることにしました。ガーガイはとてもドキドキしました。


[Good evening Tuesday] But a lot of big girls use Do Not Disturb mode after 10pm because they have work tomorrow

Lately I enjoy listening to Erykah Badu’s new album.
I prefer the album with lots of interludes rather than hits after hits, so I really like it. And, one of her styles… those bluesy lengthy song about lingering affection, it really shines here and I love that... :)


"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし)

Well, it started from the doodle I was drawing while chatting, but it gets fun when I put some texts on it and I kept going... I quite like it and thought it may be interesting to share them here :)

I borrowed a name and character figure from Gargaj (and I got his permission to publish in here, thanks! :), but here's the disclaimer: all characters (traits) and events appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events or persons or products is purely and definitely coincidental… :)



"The Story of A Robot" (あるロボットのおはなし)

1)    山も谷もデコボコもない場所に、ガーガイという名前のふしぎなロボットが住んでいます。


[Good evening Tuesday] Make a Wish on the New Moon

The other day I wrote about the Full Moon rituals. And I’d like to write about my New Moon rituals before I completely forget.

If the Full Moon is “full” and good time to clean and start using new wallet, New Moon is “new” and great time to start new habit and make a wish… well, so I heard… I don’t know the deep spiritual meaning here, but if the knowledgeable people say that after the research, then why not… They’re not trying to sell anything (if so that’s bogus) and there’s nothing to lose on our end… :)

So on the new moon day, I make a wish. To be exact, this is not my new moon rituals but something I do regularly; I jot down my wishes, hopes or dreams on the paper.

Nowadays writing dreams/hopes are often encouraged in terms of “law of attraction” (or, i.e. the book called “The Secret”) but I started it about 10 years ago out of necessity. There was a very tough time in my life which I felt really lonely and desperate, and needed to have some reasons to wake up in the morning. And I started to write down what I want randomly. I want that, I want to do this and that… It didn’t matter if the wish was small or big or unrealistic… I just wanted to make sure that I still have energy in me to have some hopes for the future.

Over the course of a decade, naturally there have been many changes in my dream and my attitude. For the first several years, I was living in a material world but I get to wish something unmeasurable (which is tough to know when to tick the box). And some hopes and dreams were replaced with other things. Like, my “Date with George Clooney” dream had to be updated because I don’t date with married man. ...Sorry George. :D

The effect of doing this? I don’t know if the law of attraction was activated but quite a lot of boxes have been ticked. Through the listing process, you are going to recognize that you have certain wish or dreams or hope, and I think this recognition would work like setting a target, and you know where to aim. Well, one thing for sure is that it definitely lifted me up from the bottom.

And this year, I updated my dream lists by adding “thank you” column. Somehow I felt I also need to take a note of what I already have or received, not just listing up what I don’t have. And this process brutally made me realize how lucky and happy I’ve been and I am. (e.g. Living in a country where I can drink tap water… I took that for granted, but when I think about it… :)

It doesn’t matter how you do it, but if you feel like trying this, I’d like to give you some advice… (these are something I want to tell to myself who just started doing this)

1. First and foremost, be honest to yourself. Don’t hold back. Write what you really want.

2. If you can be specific, it’s better. Especially if it’s a big dream. Break down what you want from its achievement.

3. And most importantly, Do not forget that the things you’re going to list are “PLUS” to your life. These are not “lack” or missing things in your life. (If you start looking at the list and think “I’ll be happy when I get this, so I have to have this” then you’re screwed and you have to stop listing) Consider at this very moment you’re on the origin (zero point), not plus or minus, because your life is running anyway and that means you already have what you need to have it running.

I hope this post will help someone out there, even a little... and that's one of my wishes.  :)


[Good evening Tuesday] Name

The other day I was flipping through some books at the old bookshop, and I found my name on one of the books. Well, obviously it was for someone who has the same name, but I couldn’t let it go and took that without flipping it any further, thinking there must be some information that I should read… (It was about German way of organizing… and boy it’s very structured and practical :) )


haunt me: honeytrap

Karel Boehlee Trio “Last Tango in Paris”

I just adore this version..



帰ってきてからすでに1ヶ月半が経とうとしていますが、この夏、またもやフィンランドはヘルシンキに行ってきました。そうです、夏のヘルシンキといえばAssembly!(笑) まさかの2年連続の参加です!

-  昨年のAssembly体験記は、こちらからご覧になれます。Assemblyって何のこと?と疑問にお思いの方も、昨年の記事を読んでいただけると分かりやすいかと思います。

- 観光もバッチリ楽しんだ、昨年のヘルシンキ訪問記はこちらからどうぞ!

ふおめんテイクオフ© 今回も旅のパートナーはフィンエアー。機体にもマリメッコのラッピングが施されていますが、機内のブランケットや紙コップなどもマリメッコ柄でかわいかったです。それと、前回ちらりと他の座席のエラー画面で見たのですが(笑)、機内エンターテイメント(タッチスクリーンで映画やゲームができるやつ)のOSは、フィンランド生まれのLinuxのようです。さすがはフィンランド航空!まあ当然ともいえますが、すべてがフィンランド愛にあふれています(笑)


Whisper #348-416

the frontier

It’s right in front of you.

If you can’t forget, you don’t have to forget.

(Will you be my friend?)

A long time ago, someone stroke a match and lighted off one big firework saying “let’s have fun” and the universe was born.

He’s the party master and it’s our mission to enjoy this. We're all invited.

Woot Woot

Definition should come later.

I always wanted to tell you. If you see the world only in black and white, we can’t fit in. 

this dependency
this tendency
this expectancy

I cannot imagine how it’s like to cross the border by train or bus. I was born in a country surrounded by sea, always need to take a plane to go outside.

Big Ben has been the symbol of my “foreign country” imagery. When I first saw it, I screamed and the taxi driver jumped up.

We cannot be friends just because we both came from the same place or share first-language.

I thought “growing up” is getting closer to perfection so that I could handle almost everything nicely by myself. But the reality is contrary to that. I realize more and more things that I can’t do by myself.

Oh well, that's me, I give up. 

Go on.

No matter how much I love and enjoy the time with you, I need to close the door and be myself for a while. I need to be alone to keep balance and to be me. You don't wanna see me behind that door.

My highschool teacher visited schools in America, and one of their students passed the letter to him saying “please give this letter to someone who can be my penpal” And he passed it to me.

We exchanged mix tapes.

Becky liked country music.

I don’t want to ruin our snail mail relationship with one “Add Friends” button.

I am so glad to know the pre-internet age. Even I made quite a lot of friends thanks to internet.

Say hi me back. Talk me back. Ask me back.
I want to be your friend.

I loved seeing your smiling face behind that salad bar. How beautiful woman you were.
I think it’s not only because of the fresh salad in front of you.

Girls are simply beautiful. What I mean “beautiful” is not “professionally beautiful” to be on the cover of the magazine, but they are beautiful in its own way. Different colors of eyes, skin and hair, and different figures. Uniqueness. Smiles. How they move. Strength inside. Each of them are beautiful like flowers.

Watching these girls from all over the world, I felt like watching a radiant flower garden.

And boys. Boys are hopelessly romantic creatures, with a joystick built-in.

I love them both. I love that we are different. It’s not a competition. We are just different.

It’s no longer an instinct, it’s a conviction.

It’s no longer a dream, it’s a plan.

At the moment you lowered your eyes, I saw the crack on your “la vie en rose”

Will you always be in my life? As a friend, as an acquaintance it doesn’t matter. 
But possibly in amicable way. 
I want you to be in my life all the time, I want you to see how I walk in this life. I want you to witness that I live in this world.

And I want to be a witness of your life.

Is this Love or Dependence?

Is this Innocence or Cruelty?

Strong desire of domination. They just wrap this in a sugary word like “love” or “justice”.

He told us how horrible his life was back there, as if he justifies his move to the new country. But I sensed the deep sorrow under his rage. I sensed how much he misses them.

You miss them. You really miss them. Of course you do.

It is our right to pursue freedom, happiness and better life. But we also have a right and freedom to love where we’re from, our own country. No matter how rotten, corrupted or changed dramatically they are.

That scenery, that wind, that street, that sea, that sky, that laughter. How could we hate that, no matter where we go, no matter how happy we are right now in different place.

You don’t have to hate.

            Ending of this chapter is nearing.
            End it without hesitations.


I look back and miss sometimes. That city, that place.
Though I know it’s not the same if I go back now.

That shop with nice old man is gone.
That new café on the corner is no longer “new”.
That yellow scarf I always wanted to check the price is sold.
No one sings that song on the street anymore.
The restaurant I tried to copy the dish is closed down.
He no longer smiles at me and opens his arms when he sees me.
All the piled up old books must be replaced with different old books.
People I could see anytime are no longer sitting on that chairs.

What I miss and dearly cherish is  not the certain place that exists. It's all dwelling only in my mind. Compilation of somewhere at some point that I can never go back.

I won’t compare now with these moments because I’m now old enough to know this is very unrealistic. But I’m very glad to have these moments stay in me.

When I look back, I’ll smile at you guys. So please, don't hold me back. 
Just smile me back and say "keep going"

Even if I could I wouldn't change anything, because that's what made possible to see you right here.

I am happy now. Not because I live somewhere or I have something or someone to make me happy.

(Oh that was so elementary.)

And the story goes on.

If I had a teleporter for a day…

I would get a good morning coffee and baguette in Paris then have chat on top of the table mountain with my friend. Then I would visit the beautiful library in Ireland, and watch the rain falls in Vietnam.

Then I would have lunch with my girlfriends in Hong Kong and walk along the Thames and get a nice cuppa. But I would quickly drop by Germany to get some cakes and cookies. And then I would enjoy them near the lake in Finland and make surprise visit to my friend in Denmark and Norway.

Then I do a shopping for dinner in Tokyo and Niigata, but quickly jump to Crete and watch the sunset. And I’ll invite everyone I love on that secret rooftop in Montreal. Hm, maybe that’s way too small, need bigger place. (dinner place TBD)

Anyway, after that I would watch beautiful ballet in Moscow, then ride on the river boat in Budapest to watch that night view. Then I jump to karaoke dive bar in Vegas to get rid of the sentiment, and move to New Zealand to watch the starry sky to get my sentiment back. And finally I go back to my own bed in Japan.

Oh, I can’t meet all my friends and cover every place I wanna go with this plan!

Can I borrow this for a week?


My Helsinki/Assembly Diary (2015 version)

I’m back from Helsinki… Yes, Finland. Yes, Assembly. Yes, again this year! :)

- My “Assembly Summer 2014” party report is here.
- Helsinki travelogue (2014) is here.

Huomen-takeoff: After being in the air for about 10 hours, I landed Finland again. There are several things I found irresistible during my last visit: of course Fazer’s blue chocolate is to die for, but also this rye bread. I visited supermarket as soon as I landed, and experiment the feeling of “coming back” by seeing these on the shelf and smelling dill.

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